Purpose

I cried last night. I was feeling emotional and upset in the inside. Felt that no one understood how terrible I was struggling to express myself. Felt the tears trickling down my cheeks, behind my ear, down to my neck. Soaking the bed as I laid there thinking what can I improve on my attitude, my character and my life. 

I often thought to myself that I was born out of an accident. Being the third child with huge age gap from my older sister and brother, made me felt the awkward one. 

Me: Mom, you and Dad didn't plan to have me right? 

This is the silly question which I have been asking since I hit puberty. I do laugh over it sometimes, but I can't seem to find logical reasons to support why I came to this Earth. 

My family is struggling financially and there are debts to be cleared. I grow up earning money to pay off school fees by attaining scholarships or bursary. It seemed to be the only escape path or opportunity to lighten the load. After O'levels, I went to work in a newly established company in Singapore. Earning money to pay off my own phone bills, school fees, and give to my older siblings. It was never an easy journey, but it forced me to mature earlier than some of my age-group friends. 

I choose to believe that I have a purpose. I am not an accident and I have a destiny to fulfill. Some things in life cannot be explained, but we can trust that everything is gonna work out fine. 

"That in any moment, we can do only that which we are able to do." 


If you ever ponder similar thought like me, please know that you are not alone. You are special and learn to cherish what you have now, you are doing much better than what you think you're doing now. Things will improve for the better. Just keep striving and pushing forward. I pray that you will discover your purpose in life and dream bigger dreams. 

Learning to encourage oneself is the biggest encouragement for one. 

Stay strong. I hope this post will encourage anyone who has doubts in their own purpose in life.


2 songs from 2 person I love and admire~ 

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard

They will not be pushed aside and turned 

I promise you, I'm always there

When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair

I'll carry you when you need a friend

You'll find my footprints in the sand

Credits:

Joyce Meyer

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Beyonce Knowles

Leona Lewis